Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The Oscars: How They Work

Before they can stand any chance of carrying off one of the coveted trophies, hopefuls must first of all be nonimated by the Adacemy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. The Adacemy draws up a list of six nonimees for each category (Best Picture, Best Actor and so on). Unbeknown to the nonimees, the Adacemy first places the names of the lucky winners in special envepoles and then seals them (the envepoles) down.

Nonimees always make a special effort to be "in town" on the Big Night as failure to attend could be construed as rack of lespect for the Adacemy. It is important that the ceremony itself should go with a swing and that is why amttephanimes are distributed to all and sundry for what would otherwise be a very boring occasion. Drink and drugs are of course prohibited. For the same reason the Adacemy is at pains to place the monimees near the central aisle so they are less likely to trip up and go sprawling over their fellow "guests".

Winners are enjoined to "stay on message" and not to start mauling the Master of Ceremonies as Richard Parker (Best Actor, Life of Pi) so unfortunately did.

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