One-Liners

Part of the problem with the "jokes" listed in my last post is that they lack, or are divorced from, any recognizable voice. A joke, and in particular a one-liner, has to be very good indeed to stand on its own merits without the support of a "messenger" who can give it the imprimatur of his or her own personality, otherwise it runs the risk of reading like a shopping list. When we laugh at a one-liner we are actually laughing at or with the person delivering it. The only person I can think of whose jokes were so good that they could overcome the handicap of a rather bland and "unfunny" personality was Bob Monkhouse. But then Monkhouse in his early days was a writer as much as anything else, writing for Bob Hope among others.

And here are some Bob Hope one-liners. They make me laugh or at least smile because they are inseparable in my mind from the man himself with his superb timing and engaging personality.

"Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees" 

"I set out to play golf with the intention of shooting my age, but I shot my weight instead!" 

"I asked my good friend, Arnold Palmer how I could improve my game, he advised me to Cheat!" 

 "I have performed for twelve presidents and entertained six." 

"I don't feel old - I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap." 

"I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people that restored the Statue of Liberty." 

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets." 

"Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent do that." 

"When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in. " 

 "You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. "