The Wikipedia Entry for Donald Trump

Donald Jasper Trump was born in 1946. His mother came from Scotland and his father was of German extract. His father was anxious to put his name down at birth for the Wharton School of Business. He felt that he should be put down at birth. He was pro-choice and believed that a woman ought to be free to dispose of her and his body as best she pleased. Mrs Trump, however, was very much pro-life. She did not want her husband to have him put down. She wanted to Make America Great Again, and was convinced that her son, Donald, might just be the person to do that little thing, so help me God.

When was America last great? What or who might make it great again? The second question was easier to answer (Trump) than the first one. I put the question to Mr Trump at a press conference convened during the Women's Open Golf Championship at Turnberry
"When was America last great?", I asked.
He pointed his finger at me. "You!", he shouted, "I know you. Got your number, friend. You write that pathetic little blog nobody reads, and I mean nobody".
"At least you do", I opined.
"Wise guy. See yon tower, punk?", he inquired, switching effortlessly from Scottish to Peter Cheyney. "Wanna take a dive from the top floor, like curtains?"


By this time, I was sweating profusely so it was just as well that I woke up.