I'm not usually one for reading, or passing on, lists of jokes received via the Internet, but here are a couple taken from a longer list sent to me by my daughter in Dubai. They all highlight the crassness of lawyers (no offence, Jerry, my father was a lawyer too!). I have translated them from the French.
LAWYER: Do you remember what time it was when you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy began at 8.30 pm.
LAWYER: And was Mr Denton dead at this time?
WITNESS: Well, he certainly was by the time I finished.
LAWYER: Doctor, before proceeding with the autopsy, did you check the patient's pulse?
WITNESS: No.
LAWYER: Did you check his blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
LAWYER: Breathing?
WITNESS: No.
LAWYER: So it's quite possible that the patient was still alive when you started the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
LAWYER: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was in a jar on my desk.
LAWYER: I see. But couldn't the patient nevertheless have still been alive?
WITNESS: Yes, it's conceivable that he is still alive and practising as a lawyer.
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