Here is my 10-point plan to get Britain back on its feet as a force for good in the world, and to increase our haul of medals in next year's Olympic Games (to be held in London).
- Bring back National Service
- Raise Mary Whitehouse to the peerage
- Strip Mick Jagger of his knighthood
- Bring back Two-Way Family Favourites
- Bring back public flogging followed by capital punishment
- Hold a referendum to choose the best form of capital punishment
- Bring back the National Anthem at the end of all film shows
- Bring back the British Board of Film Censors, including (if possible) John Trevelyan
- Drastically reduce Prince Andrew's stipend
- Bring back my bonnie to me
- Improve the teaching of arithmetic at school
0. Bring back National Service
ReplyDelete1. Raise Mary Whitehouse to the peerage
2. Strip Mick Jagger of his knighthood
3. Bring back Two-Way Family Favourites
4. Bring back public flogging followed by capital punishment
5. Hold a referendum to choose the best form of capital punishment
6. Bring back the National Anthem at the end of all film shows
7. Bring back the British Board of Film Censors, including (if possible) John Trevelyan
8. Drastically reduce Prince Andrew's stipend
9. Bring back my bonnie to me
10. Improve the teaching of arithmetic at school
FTFY
11. Repair that falling London Bridge.
ReplyDeleteI had to look in the urban dictionary for FTFY, but am not sure whether the comment was meant to mean "fixed that for you", in which case you have a friend. Or does it mean "fit after fifty"? There were various other suggestions, but these seemed the most likely. Kind of.
ReplyDeleteLondon Bridge? As in falling down?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWell, you learn even if you don't live! I'd never seen that expression before. On the other hand, in "fixing it for me" my friend has spoilt the effect of my last point...
ReplyDeleteFTFY--Fixed that for you--is a common internet meme.
ReplyDeleteSpoilt? Nah! The original drollery was in fact noted, understood, and returned with--at least with the intention of--jeu d'esprit.
I wish I knew who my anonymous friends were. Do they ask to remain anonymous "because of the sensitivity of the issue" or because they are "not authorised to speak on the matter"?
ReplyDeleteClose textual analysis of the er text leads me to suppose that, in this case, Anonymous is a proud member of another debt-ridden country? Am I right or am I right?
This anon, the one who these days needs to consult the urban dictionary, resides in E.Anglia.
ReplyDeleteI remain 'anonymous' because I'm loth to engage with either OpenID or Name/URL. Teach me how to acquire a name, dear Blogger, preferably without bringing down unknown costs on the Archangel ............
I do like the idea of the wolves and would be prepared to sponsor a few.
If you choose Name/URL you can simply put in your name (or a name that is meaningful to me). You don't have to put in anything else. As an example, I've done this myself this time.
ReplyDelete