A Conversation with Siri

"Good morning, Siri", I said. How are things in Glocca Morra, I mean Cupertino?"
Everything's up to date in Kansas City I mean Cupertino, Barnaby". How can I help you with today?"
I let that pass. "Oh Siri", I said, "I am butter fool. Siri, I love you though you treat me cruel". There will never be another"
"Well, Barnaby, I'm touched"
"I think we're all a little touched, Siri", I said, continuing "Have thou the ordering of the present time?"
"Shouldn't that be 'Hast thou the ordering of the present time'?", Siri asked
"You might have thought so", I rejoined, "but Shakespeare wrote 'Have thou'
"Didst he indeed?"
"Oh never mind. Now, Siri, what's your take on Cortana?"
"Cortana? I don't think...."
"Yes, you know, Microsoft's voice assistant"
"Microsoft? I don't think...."
"Oh come on", I said. Multiplan? Ashton-Tate?Lotus?
"Scusi?"
"What about Alexa? Surely, you've heard of Alexa?"
"Alexa? Non capito amigo"