Thank-You Letters

 

When I was a child, Christmas Day was a time of joy slightly marred by the thought of what lay in store the next day, for Boxing Day was thank-you letter day -  no fun at all before the advent of the word processor. I was reminded of all this when I was in receipt of dutiful letters, no doubt written at gunpoint,  from my grandchildren.

This in turn reminded me of a wonderful series of  letters by that master of cumulative humour, Michael Frayn. After many years of fruitless search, I finally managed to track them down on a Russian website, of all places.

Letter 1
Dear Uncle Arthur,
Thank you for your extremely generous Christmas present. I don’t know how you guessed but socks were exactly what I wanted.
What socks, too! I have looked it up and see that it is the Macpherson tartan. And how clever of you to remember that size I take seven!

Letter 2
Dear Aunt Millie,
How very kind of you to remember me at Christmas! And with socks, too! In fact socks were quite the nicest present I received - size ten was just right, and very delicate mauve will go excellently with a yellow suit. I must try to get one.

Letter 3
Dear Mrs. Thimble,
I can’t tell you how touched I am that you still go on remembering us “children” (as I suppose you still think of us!!) every year. And socks were just what I needed. I particularly like the pretty ribbons they do up with - they match perfectly the bells on the matinee jacket you gave me last Christmas. I shall certainly think of you every time I wear them.

Letter 4
Dear Great-Uncle Alexander,
I scarcely know what to say! I must admit I had been secretly hoping that someone would give me socks - and you did! Socks are always handy to have - and yours were so cleverly and appropriately Christmassy. I don’t think I have ever seen socks with a pattern of holly and mistletoe before, though my favourites are the “Yuletide Lafter” pair. Some of the jokes printed on them are almost too good
to keep hidden under one’s trouser-leg!

Letter 5
Dear Great-Aunt Tilly,
I must write at once to thank you for your magnificent present. I can’t tell you what my feelings were when I opened that huge parcel and found it contained - a pair of socks!
It was very clever of you to choose a pair with one black and one grey. They make a big change from the ordinary run of socks, and I shall keep them for very special occasions. And how thoughtful of you to remember that my right foot is two inches longer than my left!
I hope you haven’t been having any more trouble with your eyesight recently.