1. Make a point of calling your adversaries by their Christian names, e.g. David, Nick or Gordon.
2. Don't overdo it, though. From time to time, refer more sternly to David Cameron, Nick Clegg or Gordon Brown.
3. Try to avoid the expression "I agree with Nick". It's beginning to get on everone's nerves.
4. Always listen respectfully while the other person is speaking, looking at him intently the while.
5. Treat yourself to one moment of passion (but only one).
6. Stay on message: "You don't trust the people"; "the old parties"; "let's get real"
7. When speaking stare intently at the camera. Imagine it is a voter.
8. At the end of the show shake hands and, if at all possible, place a proprietary hand on your opponents' shoulders, as though to indicate "nothing personal" and "it's all in good fun".
9. Leave the dirty stuff to your henchmen (George, Vince and Peter)
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