The tip-off

In a carefully orchestrated and well-coordinated dawn raid on both sides of the Channel, and acting on a tip-off provided by me, police yesterday swooped on the RTL, Europe 1 and BBC 1 radio stations. As I suspected, they found large quantities of amphetamine tablets which the assorted journalists, disc jockeys, astrologers and weather forecasters were brazingly (sorry, that word doesn't actually exist) consuming even as the police burst into the studios. Still jabbering NINETY to the dozen, they were led away to the awaiting police vans, demanding to speak to some of their lawyers. "We'll see about that" replied the police darkly.

What put me on to them? Well, I had long been alarmed by the extraordinarily fast, almost rapper-like speech of radio announcers et  al. on the more "popular" stations, but had put this down to a general slowing down, not to say seizing up, of my brain. I might have continued to impugn my brain had it not been for a chance encounter with some off-duty RTL presenters in the rue Bayard in Paris. It was the middle of the afternoon and I couldn't help noticing how despondent and slow-witted they all seemed. A far cry from their frenetic, speeded-up behaviour  of the morning. Speed! Of course, that was it! They were all on speed, and I was now witness to the downside (I'm a Beaumont man myself) of their habit.
"Take them away, Occifer", I said wearily.